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Dcazz:
On a cold rainy night a man walked into a bar, took off his coat, put his gloves neatly on the bar sat down and took off his hat. The bartender looked at him and noticed a huge toad ontop of his head! He said "Wow, thats a beauty where did you get it!?" The toad said "Well, it started out as a wart on my ass...!"

ibanez_ax:
Bubba and Earl were drinking beer in Bubba's pickup when they approached a sobriety checkpoint.  Bubba said "Oh no! I'm gonna get a drunk driving citation!"

Earl said "Take the label off your beer bottle and put it on your forehead. I'll do the same and let me do the talking."  Bubba did just that.

They approached the checkpoint.  The policeman shined his flashlight in the cab and said "Have you boys been drinking?"

Earl said "No sir, we're on the patch."

(Disclaimer: this joke in no way indicates my approval of drinking and driving!)

Brynjar:

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