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[andersonCouncill]

Here's my Song For Kurt Cobain Sung To The Tune Of The Beatles Classic "Come Togethor":

Mr. hard rock maven
Mr. Zepplin ravin
Mr. Sell you soul to Ringo,
Mr. three chords backed by Mr. Grohl,
What the hell did she do to ye?

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,

Mr. MTV now,
Mr. big hit single,
Mr. I-Never-Wanted-To-Be-The-Big-Thing
"Now I can't handle fame's sting"

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,

Mrs. steal your soul now,
Mrs. Steal your songs ow,
Mr. gotta start a new band,
Not that same group without that grain of sand,

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind
Its a sin,

[pc31]

better live?

[Sondra]

Be nice pc.

[andersonCouncill]

No its not. I always was of the opinion its a fairly pretentious tune, mainly because of the creative license I took with the work. Still, its better than some stuff I've written. I'm much more aimed towards a progressive rock sound and to take this more pop-based turn was difficult, particularly when following the rules of an already structured work.

[An Apple Beatle]

I see your very serious about your writing then?

[andersonCouncill]

Oh, yes. I've always been a bit embarassed about this poem. Still, its one of my babies and I love it. But then, no parent has to be equally PROUD of their children, do they?

I could post some more if you guys want. This is one of my weaker works.

[An Apple Beatle]

Go for it.

[The End]

I could post some more if you guys want.

Yep, absolutely.

Got any recorded works?

[andersonCouncill]

Well, I do but I'll be honest, I'm 13 and well I have a nice singing voice generally after a verse and a chorus my voice cracks and I really wouldn't want to post the recorded works, and also it was with a cheap low quality recorder.

Would you guys mind if I just posted a link to another forum where I have my poems posted so I don't have to go through the time of copying and pasting them all here?

[andersonCouncill]

Here's the link.

http://www.pinkfloydonline.com/cgi-bin/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi?s=05189ba3068d7fb323a2ee38bac6fc81;act=ST;f=11;t=5732;st=0

Its our own little coffee shop!

[andersonCouncill]

And please, no need to be nice. I'm posting these things for advice, not for praise. If you like them great. Tell me what you like so I can keep it up and tell me what you don't like about my style so I can work on it. BE BRUTAL! I write to please myself but I want to entertain others. I write to make others days a little better. If your not pleased tell me, and tell me why.

[Mairi]

But then, no parent has to be equally PROUD of their children, do they?

Sounds like my mom.

[JonnyMoondog]

Here's my Song For Kurt Cobain Sung To The Tune Of The Beatles Classic "Come Togethor":

Mr. hard rock maven
Mr. Zepplin ravin
Mr. Sell you soul to Ringo,
Mr. three chords backed by Mr. Grohl,
What the hell did she do to ye?

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,

Mr. MTV now,
Mr. big hit single,
Mr. I-Never-Wanted-To-Be-The-Big-Thing
"Now I can't handle fame's sting"

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,

Mrs. steal your soul now,
Mrs. Steal your songs ow,
Mr. gotta start a new band,
Not that same group without that grain of sand,

Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind,
Its a sin,
Like a feather,
In the wind
Its a sin,

When I started writing lyrics I wrote poems and eventually I started writing lyrics along to melodies from some of my favourite songs just to learn a little more, so what you're doing is fine... but if you are writing about a person then it must make sense a little clearer. I don't think Kurt raved about Zepp much. Selling his soul to Ringo? I dont even understand that one.

You are on the right path with the rhyming, now just look for other words not as obvious and write something with the same subject but without a melody... write it as a poem/song with a verse and chorus and whatever else but don't think of melody yet and you may come up with something different or better. When you release the shakles of someone elses material you become yourself.