DM's Beatles forums
Beatles forums => The Beatles => Topic started by: raquelle on November 04, 2008, 01:43:42 AM
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Does anybody have any good Beatles jokes?
I have one...
How many Beatles does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four.
John to come up with the lightbulb...
Paul to claim half of the lightbulb...
George to complain that his lightbulbs never get considered...
and Ringo to change the lightbulb.
By the way, you guys, these are just jokes. Let's hope nobody gets offended!
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Paul to claim half of the lightbulb...
*gasp* I am so offended!...just kidding... :P :P :P ;D
I don't know any Beatle jokes so I had to search for them online. Here's one of my favorites:
Why did the Beatles cross Abbey Road?
To make some really good music, of course.
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What did the centerpede sing to his girlfriend?
I Wanna Hold Your Hand Hand Hand Hand Hand
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This is impossible to translate, so unfortionately it's only for those who understand Dutch...
Q: Waarom konden de Beatles niet klaverjassen?
A: Paul McKaartnie...
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Cute jokes! I haven't heard any myself..
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This is impossible to translate, so unfortionately it's only for those who understand Dutch...
Q: Waarom konden de Beatles niet klaverjassen?
A: Paul McKaartnie...
Uhm, well, I speak a little German. ^^
'Warum' is 'why'...
Beatles.
Niet= not?
'Klavier' in German is 'piano'
Is 'jassen' to play?
Why didn't the Beatles play piano? XD
Oh, foo. I'm no good at this. X3
I found this online a while back:
(http://www.creativetony.com/illustration/illofriday/allyouneedismeat.jpg)
I'm sure it's supposed to be funny, but I only got a little, "Haha! .....I don't get it." out of it, miself. XD
For us 'Paul is Dead' fanatics.
"It must be lonely for Ringo being the only original Beatle alive.
First it was Paul then John and George..."
Some of these that I'm finding are gruesome. ...That last one kinda is, you know.
And, for those of us who understand computer language...
http://www.avaruusmies.com/vitsit/englanti/23.html
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This is impossible to translate, so unfortionately it's only for those who understand Dutch...
Q: Waarom konden de Beatles niet klaverjassen?
A: Paul McKaartnie...
something to do with the "nie" in Macca? Like, "why the beatles dont do something? because Paul cant"?
Once raxo and me had a whole conversation with Beatles jokes (sadly i cant find that thread), but the one I remember is ....
Elvis Pelvis... Paul's B... ;D ;D ;D Lame, but funny! :P
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It's Dutch by the way, not German. :P
Klaverjassen is a card game. So, why can't the Beatles play this particular game. Because Paul can't play card, he 'kaart nie(t)'.
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Jokes never work when you have to explain them... :)... But anyway, like Bobber said: Cartney sounds like 'kaart nie', which means something like 'doesn't play cards'.
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"It's Dutch by the way, not German"
I know. ^^ The languages seem pretty similar, though, so I thought I'd give it a try. XD So much for that! ;D
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The languages seem pretty similar
Well, to a certain extend... When you speak German, most Dutch people will recognize enough words to more or less understand what you're saying (and vice verse, I guess), but there certainly are a lot of big differences.
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Okay, okay. I give. XD
Sorreh. ^^
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What did the centerpede sing to his girlfriend?
I Wanna Hold Your Hand Hand Hand Hand Hand
I heard one like that. ^^
"What did Ringo say to the octopus?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand~!"
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Q) What did Ringo get on his I.Q. test?
A) Drool
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LOL! I love this thread! Even if the jokes are silly, they're a lot of fun.
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Jokes are meant to be silly 8)
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I have a really cheesy one:
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the Beatles made it look cool.
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^ that's cute actually 8)
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That means a lot. I made it up meself. (clown1)
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I'm going to use it if you don't mind ;)
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I suppose this belongs in jokes. Beatles fan Weird Al did this clip in 1996 for Al-TV, introducing "Beatles Anthology 17":
KTO0SmBfdek (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTO0SmBfdek )
The thing is... we'd all probably buy it. Including Al. :)
Enjoy!
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^ ;D ;D ;D
Here's a joke:
What's better than Best? Ringo! ;D
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^ Haaaa. Good one! ;D
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Whats a Walrus have song? Iam The Walrus Glob Glob Glob Glob Glob
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LOL! I LOVE the anthology 17!
And I don't say lol often, not in capitals anyway.
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This is impossible to translate, so unfortionately it's only for those who understand Dutch...
Q: Waarom konden de Beatles niet klaverjassen?
A: Paul McKaartnie...
Well i have this translate thing on my computer and i typed that in and it says this:
Q : Why couldn't the Beatles play jass?
A : Paul McCartney
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I have a really cheesy one:
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the Beatles made it look cool.
I like that one ;)
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Well i have this translate thing on my computer and i typed that in and it says this:
Q : Why couldn't the Beatles play jass?
A : Paul McCartney
Sorry if i say things double, but in dutch McCartney sounds like kaart nie(t), it sounds like 'he doesn't play cards'
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Here's one of my favorites:
Why did the Beatles cross Abbey Road?
To make some really good music, of course.
This is one of my favourites too! :) ;D
But i don't get he one with the chiken (few post above)
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You know, the Abbey Road thing, chicken thinks "They are so awesome!"....ah, it's no good if you have to explain it...
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This is one of my favourites too! :) ;D
But i don't get he one with the chiken (few post above)
Everybody is crossing the road nowadays, because it`s cool! (the Beatles advocated it) Yeah, it`s no good when you explain... :(
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Okay, dumb ones.
Q: What year did Paul McCartney write silly love songs?
A: 1962, 1963, 1964, 1965, 1966...
[I do not believe in this one at all. It's just a joke. Don't get all mad, ok?]
took me a while to get this one, lol.
Q: Why can't you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert?
A: There's no John.
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^ The John joke is pretty good! ;D
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Not bad, not bad! ;D
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I heard one like that. ^^
"What did Ringo say to the octopus?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand~!"
or how about what's an Octopus's fav film? Eight Arms To Hold You (Help!)
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First there's this, a critical incident in inter-Beatles relations:-
AarhZScyuz0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AarhZScyuz0)
That sketch, in fact, is the reason Paul kept his distance all those years. Because John had appeared to him in a dream and said "Beware the one-legged pirate". Paul thought he was talking about George.
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^George has great balance on that peg leg of his.
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Talking of the one-legged pirate, here's Marcus Brigstocke using her as a verbal punchbag.
-kUtF7J80J4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kUtF7J80J4)
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Heard this one on Letterman:
Q: What's 'Hello Goodbye' called in Hebrew?
A: 'Shalom Shalom'.
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Heard this one on Letterman:
Q: What's 'Hello Goodbye' called in Hebrew?
A: 'Shalom Shalom'.
Heheh or Ciao, Ciao in Italian.
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Heard this one on Letterman:
Q: What's 'Hello Goodbye' called in Hebrew?
A: 'Shalom Shalom'.
It's true! HA HA! ;D
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Q. What's the name of George father's?
A. Harry.
(^I heard it from my English teacher. So don't look at me! :-X)
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What did George Harrison say to his guitar while it gently weeped?
"Don't fret."
ha2ha
xxx
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What did George Harrison say to his guitar while it gently weeped?
"Don't fret."
ha2ha
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Haha! Cute!
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Haha! Cute!
And potentially rather terrible! ;D
xxx
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I found this online
The Beetles
Muddy Road
(http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwtamsPEWQ1qa9armo1_500.jpg)
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What did John say when Yoko asked him what type of art she displayed?
"Avant garde a clue."
;sorry
xxx
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That was funny, JGD. :P
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Hehe thanks. ;D
xxx
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What did John say when Yoko asked him what type of art she displayed?
"Avant garde a clue."
What if I don't get it? :P Blonde moment.
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What if I don't get it? :P Blonde moment.
From the Mixdown website:
Carnival of Light” has not yet appeared on any release, either official or a bootleg recording. In 1996 McCartney tried to release the track on the compilation album The Beatles Anthology 2, but George Harrison voted to reject it. According to McCartney, the reason was that “he didn’t like avant garde music” and referred to avant garde as ‘avant garde a clue’ (“haven’t got a clue”). George Harrison had also created avant-garde music as a solo composer (in 1969 he released an experimental album using the then new Moog synthesizer called Electronic Sound), and dabbled in the avant-garde with a couple of his Beatles compositions.