Here in Holland we've got a 'singer' called Vanessa. She's middle-aged former pin-up model with a very thick Dutch accent and no musical talent whatsoever, and she's famous for two reasons: her big boobs and the fact that she married a guy that owns the majority of all record stores in the country. She once recorded a cover of "Merry XMas (War Is Over)" that included spoken personal christmas wishes to every single one of her children. It's so bad, it'll make you want to laugh and cry at the same time.