Our first fall back when somethings so wrong is to deal with the symptoms. Suicide can seem to be the ultimate solution to your problems but.... it's not. I would challenge you to start thinking about what bothers you so much as what can solve the PROBLEM and still give you a quality life that has meaning!
My belief is that you can't choke down the symptoms and live with the problem. Attack the problem and the symptoms (feelings of suicide) will fade.
I would find a pastor, counselor or best friend and start from there. Letting it all out with someone you trust will take the pressure off so you can see more clearly.
Always remember there are people that love you. Your family, friends co-workers and we do to.
Choose correctly and solve the problem and your symptoms will disappear.