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Hillarious quote about Wings

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"It may seem a hopeless and Herculean task to follow up one of the most important and groundbreaking musical acts in history with a brand new band devoted plain and simply to 'music.' Not only do you risk alienating your entire fan base, but you open yourself up to the most brutal knee-jerk critique possible; quite simply, if your new group doesn't stack up to one of the greatest bands in history, the media will gleefully declare you a FAILURE! But that's a risk that Denny Laine was willing to take when he left the Moody Blues and started up Wings with a female photographer and the guy that did "Uncle Albert." "

From Mark Prindle's website. That made me laugh so hard that I decided it deserved its own thread. ha2ha

The album's reeking contents include:

COMPLETE STONED NONSENSE - "Mumbo" and "Bip Bop," the first two songs, make it immediately clear that you're not about to enjoy a very good record. The former is a dumb fun rock and roller based around two bass notes and lyrical jibberish, the latter a playful 12-bar country-rocker undermined by not only a WaCkY vocal delivery but indeed more lyrical jibberish (Second verse: "Wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam, Wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam, try to hide your handbag underneath the stand, and you go wip wop, wim and wop, wip wop, wim and wam. Put your hair in curlers, we're going to see a band, bip bop, bim bam bop, bip bop, bip bop, bam.") Both songs are about 700 minutes long and have one part.

SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT - "Wild Life" and "Dear Friend" both feature excellent, tense minor-key dark riffs - the former guitar, latter piano - that are repeated over and over and over and f***ing OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, WHAT WITH NOBODY HAVING BOTHERED TO WRITE A SECOND PART. "Dear Friend" in particular could've been as powerful a message to John Lennon as "How Do You Sleep" was to Paul; unfortunately Paul only wrote one verse, and was clearly more concerned about making it rhyme than making any kind of sensical statement ("Dear friend, what's the time?/Is this really the borderline?/Does it really mean so much to you?/Are you afraid, or is it true?/Dear friend, throw the wine/I’m in love with a friend of mine/Really truly, young and newly wed/Are you a fool, or is it true?" THAT'S EVERY SINGLE LYRIC HE WROTE FOR THE 6 1/2 MINUTE SONG). Each of these tracks rules for about 1 minute, then continues for another 8000.

GODAWFUL CUTESY SWEET SUGARY LOVE SONGS FOR HIS WIFE - Hey, I understand loving your wife as much as the next guy, but "I Am Your Singer" and "Tomorrow" are, objectively speaking, the worst songs ever written in the History of Breathing. Look at this lyric -- "Some day when we're singing/we will fly away, going winging." LOOK AT IT. Now ponder this: the accompanying melody is even more vomitous. I honestly have no problem with happy-go-lucky Paulisms like "Penny Lane" and "Hello Goodbye," but these two are like somebody pureed a bunch of candy valentines in a blender and hired a painter to put a few coats on your tongue.

THE OTHER TWO - "Love Is Strange" is a passable soul/reggae cover of a 1957 hit, and "Some People Never Know" proves once and for all that Paul really was the experimental Beatle. Sure, it's just melodic relaxed pop-rock, but get this -- it has three different parts. BAMM!!!! Cover your eyes! The glass ceiling is shattering all around us!

I kid Wild Life, but let's be honest -- isn't Paul "The Cute Beatle" McCartney entitled to release a sloppy, effortless album every once in a while? I mean, this is the man who gave us "Hey Jude" and "Helter Skelter" and "Back In The USSR." It's not like he's showing his dick on the cover and letting his wife screech for 45 minutes, or writing 500 boring soft rock songs about Hare Krishna, or releasing a Ringo Starr album; he's just having fun! Let the guy have his fun! It doesn't mean you have to listen to it, for Pete's sake. You think I sit around and listen to Ecco Cor Meum for sh*ts and grins? You think ANYBODY does? Hell no. So let Paul have his Choba E CCCP and his Run Devil Run. How does it affect you if he puts out a Liverpool Oratorio or Standing Stone every once in a while? Let him go ahead and pursue his little Fireman and Twin Freaks projects - who does it hurt? There's no law that says you need to listen to Liverpool Sound Collage or Working Classical. Just don't pay any attention when he de

Sounds fair.

Very funny review.

That was a good review.


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