When nuns die, they go to a special gateway to get into heaven. They line up at this special enterance and must answer a few routine questions...
So St. Peter, standing in front of a long line of nuns at the pearly gates, says, "Next!"
Sister Rita walks up and St. Peter asks her a few questions, including "Have you ever had ANY sexual contact?"
"No!" exclaims Sister Rita. "Well.... I did touch a penis once. Just with the tip of my finger, I swear!"
"Ok, well just dip your finger tips in this holy water." Sister Rita does this, thanks St. Peter and enters heaven. "Next!"
Sister Mary walks up next. Once again, St. Peter asks "Have you ever had any sexual contact whatsoever?"
"Well, ok there was this one time.... I touched a penis. Just put it in the palm of my hand, that's all."
"Well, rinse the palm of your hand with this holy water." Sister Mary does as she is told and enters heaven.
Just then, all nuns in line start yelling and shoving. There is a disturbance halfway down the line.
St. Peter says, "Sisters, sisters please!"
"Sister Lucy is cutting in line!" one complains. St. Peter looks over to Sister Lucy, who says,
"If I have to gargle that holy water, I'm not waiting until after Sister Florence dips her ass in it!"