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Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 4867 times)

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Bobber

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #80 on: November 09, 2005, 11:50:46 AM »

On second hand I didn't say a pope died in 1981, but I said there was a (and centainly more than one) dead pope in 1981.
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GreenApple

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #81 on: November 09, 2005, 01:08:47 PM »

How do you sink a Yellow Submarine?

Open the door!  ;D



Not that I ever would, of course...we have to save Pepperland, remember!



But, Pepperland is in our hearts! (man!) (flower)
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raxo

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #82 on: November 13, 2005, 03:03:26 PM »

Some more?
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GreenApple

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #83 on: November 13, 2005, 03:18:07 PM »

No more Beatles-related, unfortunately!

I'm thinking...
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GreenApple

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #84 on: November 13, 2005, 03:22:54 PM »

Got one...

How many blue meanies does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'd rather be in the dark!  :-/


Another...

What's the collective term for blue meanies?

A British Conservative Party conference!  ;D
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Bobber

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #85 on: November 22, 2005, 09:32:33 AM »

Over here in the Netherlands there's a small riddle for kids: how long is a Chinese. The kids are shouting all kinds of measures, but the little joke is that How Long is his name. But now they have found How Long at last! Here he is!


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Kevin

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #86 on: November 22, 2005, 09:56:34 AM »

^Ha ha. And people say the Dutch are humourless. Boom boom.
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Bobber

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #87 on: November 22, 2005, 10:06:55 AM »

Quote from: kevin_b
^Ha ha. And people say the Dutch are humourless. Boom boom.

Oh, we're very funny people. It's the French that are humourless.
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pc31

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #88 on: November 22, 2005, 11:53:46 AM »

what did one breast say to the other???don't hang too low people will think we nuts!!!

Kevin

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #89 on: November 22, 2005, 11:57:06 AM »

haha.
What do you call a woman with a v*gina between her breasts?














Grandma
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pc31

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #90 on: November 22, 2005, 01:27:39 PM »

whats the last thing to go through a bugs mind when he hits the windsheild?his ass!!!

raxo

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #91 on: December 17, 2005, 01:31:52 AM »

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somedude210

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #92 on: December 17, 2005, 03:40:07 AM »

hey, you know how cheny is really running the country...so does that mean we're run by a bush with a dick up its ass?
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raxo

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #93 on: January 03, 2006, 07:39:27 PM »

Quote from: raxo
Not funny and bad ones: http://www.amiright.com/real/funnyartist/beatles.shtml
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raxo

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #94 on: February 02, 2006, 10:26:51 PM »

Not exactly ... I've read something about something ... called Led Zeppelin

1973's Houses of the Holy LP: "D'yer Mak'er" (pronounced "Jamaica", which was fitting, given the song's reggae feel - it is also a play on words, based on the joke where a man mistakes his friend saying the word Jamaica, for "Did You Make Her?"

First man: My wife is off to the Caribbean on holiday.

Second man: Jamaica?

First man: No, she went of her own accord).
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Kevin

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #95 on: May 19, 2006, 04:42:45 PM »

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar.
The barman says "is this some kind of joke?"


Boom boom.
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somedude210

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #96 on: May 20, 2006, 12:35:15 AM »

So a Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi were talking and couldnt decide on who had the better religion. The priest stood up and said "well, lets try to convert a bear, whoever can convert a bear is the better religion."

so the three of them each walked into the woods. the priest goes first and an hour later comes back with big cuts. the others asked him "what happened?" The priest responded, "well i walked into the woods and found the largest bear i could find and started preaching to him. he started to attack me before i got him to the river and baptised him. then he left as peaceful as can be."

the minister then decided to try his luck and went into the woods to find a bear. he too came back an hour later all bruised and cut worst then the priest. The minister tells the story, "Well, I went into the woods and found the largest bear i could find and started giving him a fire and brimstone speech. He started attacking me until i got him down to the river and baptised him."

the rabbi decided that it was his time to try it and went into the woods. he stumbled out nearly two hours later, barely conscience. he looked at the two and told the story. "well, i found the bear, but i dont think i should've circumsized him first..."
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Wordno

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #97 on: April 11, 2007, 04:27:50 AM »

This is usually said better when someone charismatic says it. It might fall flat here but i'll give it a shot.


So this guy comes home and yells "Honey! Pack your bags! I've just won the lottery!"

The wife with so much excitment asks "Oh my god! I can't believe this! Where are we going?"

The husband replies "I don't know where you're going but be out of the house by five!"
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McLennon

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #98 on: April 13, 2007, 02:15:38 AM »

I went to the doctors the other day and said Doctor I think i'm ill, he said "no its ok, you're just a hypercondriac", i said "o no, i havn't got that too have I"!

I went to the doctors the other day and he said "I havn't seen you in a while", i said "no, i've been ill"!

I rang up the building firm the other day and said "can I have a skip outside my house?", they said "we're not stopping ya"!

I won a years supply of marmite the other day.......one jar

went to the supermarket and saw a man and woman wrapped in bar code, i said "are you two an item?"

Rang up british telecom the other day and said "I would like to report a nuisance caller", they said "o no, not you again"!

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tangerine

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Re: Jokes
« Reply #99 on: April 13, 2007, 09:25:37 AM »

Lady 1 (to lady 2) 'good GRIEF you're repulsively ugly'
Lady 2: 'well actually but husband says I look a million dollars'
Lady 1: 'YEH green and wrinkled'

... ::)

A man walked into the doctors with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor said 'I'll put some cream on it!'

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