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Author Topic: Sondra's Mailbox  (Read 15007 times)

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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #120 on: August 30, 2009, 06:50:24 AM »

I'm not sure that "the moving far away" thing is the answer.  It's best to confront the comments....diplomatically.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #121 on: August 30, 2009, 06:52:16 AM »

You can only try so much until you give up and move away.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #122 on: August 30, 2009, 06:54:46 AM »

Look, parental love is very strong.  Parents can sometimes lack tact, however.  A kind, respectful and educational confrontation often is the key.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #123 on: August 30, 2009, 06:56:39 AM »

You're probably right. The last time I tried talking about it, I was sobbing. It's hard to control your emotions and behave in a rational manner when it is about something that really hurts your feelings.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #124 on: August 30, 2009, 06:59:25 AM »

And so sometimes it's best not to answer immediately.  Wait till you're composed and you've thought out what to say.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #125 on: August 30, 2009, 07:00:15 AM »

Look, parental love is very strong.  Parents can sometimes lack tact, however.  A kind, respectful and educational confrontation often is the key.

I've tried this a million times. It always backfires because they think I'm attacking them. And believe me, I'm nothing if not calm. They have a different way of thinking and nothing is going to change that at this stage in life.
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Sondra

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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #126 on: August 30, 2009, 07:03:08 AM »

And if you heard my family talk in general about things, you'd understand. They're very old school in their opinions. On everything. You should hear them talk politics or about different ethnicity's. It's appalling ignorance. I can't deal with that mind set.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #127 on: August 30, 2009, 07:05:48 AM »

:( I'm sorry to hear that, Sondra. I'm sure they're good people at heart, but some people as you said just aren't meant to be parents.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #128 on: August 30, 2009, 07:09:06 AM »

I've tried this a million times. It always backfires because they think I'm attacking them. And believe me, I'm nothing if not calm. They have a different way of thinking and nothing is going to change that at this stage in life.

Sondra, I sense many parallels here.  It's difficult for parents to "let go."  It makes them feel old and useless.  It's really up to us, as children, to take the initiative and help them through all this.  One day, it'll be our turn.
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Sondra

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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #129 on: August 30, 2009, 07:11:00 AM »

They're good people, but a bit set in that old way of thinking. Not all of them, just my mom and brothers. My dad was never like that, but then, he got treated like crap too! This is a typical Long Island blue collar family. A lot of my friends who I went to school with still have the same sort of mind set. Maybe that's what living in the mind numbing suburbs does to you after a while.

"Don't you get it, you Long Island suburban automaton? You can't hear the truth of your lawn mower man!" -Paul Reubens on Everybody Loves Raymond

Heh heh.
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Sondra

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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #130 on: August 30, 2009, 07:12:49 AM »

Sondra, I sense many parallels here.  It's difficult for parents to "let go."  It makes them feel old and useless.  It's really up to us, as children, to take the initiative and help them through all this.  One day, it'll be our turn.

Parallels to what? I'm trying to follow.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #131 on: August 30, 2009, 07:16:54 AM »

By parallels, I mean similar feelings and events in my own family.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #132 on: August 30, 2009, 07:18:29 AM »

I thought so, but I wanted to make sure.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #133 on: August 30, 2009, 07:18:47 AM »

Do you get along with your family?
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #134 on: August 30, 2009, 07:21:33 AM »

As I mentioned, my sister has similar experiences with our mom as you have.  Me, to a much lesser extent.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #135 on: August 30, 2009, 07:24:08 AM »

Do you get along with your family?
Yes, very well.  I wish my sister would be closer.  I'm the oldest and I have only one sister.
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Sondra

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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #136 on: August 30, 2009, 07:26:39 AM »

As I mentioned, my sister has similar experiences with our mom as you have.  Me, to a much lesser extent.

I have a feeling your family is way more educated than mine. Which makes it easier to get a point across. But I'm just assuming that cuz you're highly educated.
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #137 on: August 30, 2009, 07:27:24 AM »

Yes, very well.  I wish my sister would be closer.  I'm the oldest and I have only one sister.

I get along great with my family. Just as long as I don't say anything about anything. ;D
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #138 on: August 30, 2009, 07:34:40 AM »

My dad's a doctor too.  My mom just finished high school and became a mom a year and a half later.  I've always felt my mother was more perceptive.  You don't need schooling for that.  It's instinctive for her.

The other parallel I was referring to was both our mothers feeling that our fathers' sides of the family are the nutty ones.  :)
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Re: Sondra's Mailbox
« Reply #139 on: August 30, 2009, 07:38:25 AM »

I can't type very well.  I hope my responses are not too non sequitur.
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