This is a thread to share your most embarrassing moments. It's always comforting reading someone else's mortifying moments.
My moments always involve me falling down. One time I was getting into the car and I slipped on a patch of ice. My right leg went under the car and my left leg went inside the car. My Dad just sat there and laughed at me.
Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream... Special Member
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Quoted from patton, posted April 1, 2004, 7:53pm at here
Bit in crotch by a duck. yes that was very embarrassing.
Patton and Colleen - LOL!!!!
The Day I Stopped Traffic When I was a kid, I was walking down the street kicking a can, on my way back from the shops. I was kicking this can for ages and gave it a good hard boot then my shoe went flying off in the air and landed on the windscreen (windshield) of a passing car. The car screeched to a halt up the road, and when I caught up with it, my shoe was sat on his bonnet (hood). The driver was going mental as if I’d done it on purpose! So, I climbed on the bonnet (hood) of his car, retrieved my shoe and ran the rest of the way home, quietly laughing to myself!
One time I was standing on the step in our backyard and out of nowhere I just fell. I went flying off the step and landed in the bushes. I was lying there and the neighbour's dog started barking at me.
Another time I was walking through the parking lot of of condominiums and I fell (see a pattern forming here?). It was the middle of May so there was no ice to blame it on. I just fell right there and landed on my knees. Of course, I was looking around to see if anyone saw and just then this woman drove by me.
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Quoted from colleen, posted April 1, 2004, 8:31pm at here
LOL
then this woman drove by me.
With a shoe on her hood?!
Here's another:
Hitting Bum Notes In Choir Practise I think I must have been about 9, we were rehearsing for a school play, and were warming up by singing scales. I don't know why, but my mate and me always used to have uncontrollable hysterics during this! We used to turn red with the effort of stifling our laughs. So we were doing our "la la la la la la la la la's" and we were off laughing again. It was worse than ever this time though and there was no way I wasn't going to laugh despite all my best efforts, then I accidently farted! It was the loudest fart you have ever heard and certainly the loudest to grace a church hall stage! I think they mounted a commemorative plaque on the wall somewhere in its honour. Needless to say, the whole class collapsed in fits allowing me to finally laugh till I cried! Then the teacher goes "whoever made that disgraceful noise, stay after class". So I stayed after school, and my Mum was waiting for me at the gate. As my friend was coming out, my Mum asked him where I was, and he says, "he's been kept behind for farting in choir practise" - and with that all the Mums started laughing too! I was cheered as I came out the gates!
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In The Pit We jump forward to a couple of years back. I went to a theme park called Chessington World of Adventures. We queued for ages to get on a ride called Ramesis Revenge. The ride was like the seats you get at a football ground (bleachers?) and held about forty people. A set of mechanical arms would lift the bench up about 100 foot, where it would spin and hold you upside down while water cannons prayed you in the face! FUN! So as we get to the front, a woman stops me as all my mates get on the ride - I will have to get on the next ride! My mates have their ride and then exit to the left to watch me have my go all on my own! As everyone is getting off, a girl goes up to the woman at the barrier and tells her that some change fell out of her pocket while she was on the ride. She points down to where there is about ?1.50 ($2.40) in small change. The money is lying in the bottom of a 4 foot deep muddy pit. The girl is trying to make the woman see where her money is, and pushes past me so she can get a better view, knocking me backwards into the pit! It seems to take forever for me to land and when I do the water flys everywhere as I land on my back in the crap!
Everyone is very apologetic and I can see an hour’s worth of people stuck in the queue getting great entertainment! I stand up, soaked to the skin, pick up the girls' money and slap it down at her feet. I now have to try to clamber out of the pit of scum trying to maintain the very last vestiges of my dignity... and fail! Several people have to haul me out! Then I catch a glimpse of my mates standing by the fence all absolutely pissing themselves laughing! The ride wasn't even that good!
Here's a few pics of Ramesis Revenge so you know what I'm talking about!
I was in the grade six Christmas play and that night I was getting sick (of course). My throat was sore and I was getting hoarse. I went to say my line which was, "Don't worry sir..." and when I spoke I sounded like this frog. I only got the word "Don't" out of my mouth when I stopped in horror after hearing it echo throughout the gymnasium. "Dooooooon't" was what it sounded like. I stood there for a few minutes coughing and trying to clear my throat while everyone gawked at me. I finally said my line and when I went to say my next line I had to cough and cough so I could make my voice sound normal. I was standing there busy devising a plan to get off the stage when I noticed everyone looking at me. It was my line and I had no clue where we were in the play. The guy beside me is whispering my line to me but I couldn't hear him. Then the teacher calls out the line and I had to cough for another few minutes until I could say it. Then when my lines were done I was standing there staring into space when I hear, "Conneen...Conneen." It was my two year old sister, who pronounced my name like that. I look at her in the audience and she makes this face at me and I burst out laughing in the middle of the play. To this day, my Dad mentions that night. He said he DID feel bad for me but couldn't help but laugh.
I had finally convinced my mom to let me buy a regular Bra... You know the ones with lace... the pretty ones...not the sport ones which she had made me wear.. I think I was 13... anyways on top of that..it was my favorite color... purple. So Its the first day I got it and I am not taking it off for ANYTHING I mean Im proud of this thing... so instead of wearing a sports bra to soccer practice...i wear my purple bra...ok so maybe I'll bounce around a little but no big deal...not like I was mature enough to really bounce hehe. So I am wearing a sweat shirt and I stop in the middle of practice and announce to my co-ed team.. Wait! Let me take off my sweat shirt...its too hot. So I do so while the whole team looks at me and waits grumbling.. I go to take off my sweat shirt and my shirt comes with it! Oh and thats not all... It then gets stuck over my head where I cant get it off.. I fall on me bum with my arms still tangled above my head. And my coach is laughing so hard he is crying... and finally after three minutes of struggling this nice mother comes over and helps me while everyone around me is laughing. I am proud to say.. I did not cry.
Beatle Ssarah on the forum, Everyday she posts some more on. Sometimes triv and sometimes questions, Chooses tracks and lists the best uns!
Quoted from colleen, posted April 1, 2004, 8:31pm at here
LOL those stories are hilarious.
One time I was standing on the step in our backyard and out of nowhere I just fell. I went flying off the step and landed in the bushes. I was lying there and the neighbour's dog started barking at me.
Another time I was walking through the parking lot of of condominiums and I fell (see a pattern forming here?). .
Yes I see a pattern. Boring stories of a klutz that likes to share the dumb moments of their life.
Quoted from colleen, posted April 1, 2004, 9:54pm at here
I am a dumb b**** that needs comfort from you twats. My daddy abused me. He used to slide his dick through my nasty labia like a credit card. Now I hate men!!!!
Goddammit colleen we didn't need to know that mess. Sonofabitch to hell.
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