NEW Conspiracy Theory! RUBBER SOUL

How about a Hard Day's Night?

   1. A Hard Day's Night: (Priapism (probably from too many pep pills)): That is, a woody in the morning, or is it still night?  Sleeping like a log?  You don't have to be Freud to get the symbolism.  But when I get home to you/I find the things that you do should make me feel alright?  Why on earth should I moan/cause when I get you alone/you know I feel alright?  Don't make me deal with this situation solo.  I'm out here busting my a** every day so you can lie around in bed . . . .)
   2. I Should Have Known Better (Herpes from Oral sex?  I never knew what a kiss could be/this could only happen to me?)
   3. If I Fell (Lesbian breakup--you would love me more than her?)
   4. I'm Happy Just To Dance With You (I'm gay so I don't want to hold your hand or even kiss you; if somebody tries to take my place/let's pretend we just can't see his face--because he might be looking at you instead of me?)
   5. And I Love Her (Sexual Addiction: I give her all my love/That's all I do)
   6. Tell Me Why (Dominance and Submission: I'm begging on bended knee if you'll only listen to my pleas.)
   7. Can't Buy Me Love (Casanova syndrome: I ain't paying for what I can get for free.  Forget the hookers, I can always bag a groupie after the show.)
   8. Any Time At All (Negative Self Image: I have no self-esteem--I will come any time you call me--I'm a pathetic eunuch of a man who can't get a woman except on the rebound, but that's okay, because I'm probably gay anyway.)
   9. I'll Cry Instead (Sadism: I'm a sexual sadist who wants to hurt you by sexually exploiting as many women as I can, in as degrading fashion as I can, just to show you I've got the sexual prowess you think I lack.)
  10. Things We Said Today (Seduction: C'mon, baby and give it up, before I go off to the Reeperbahn and live the chaste life of a rock-n-roll musician.  I'll be dreaming of you, I swear.)
  11. When I Get Home (Adultery: I know I'm cheating with you but I need to get home to the little woman and boink her till the cows come home--I don't know, maybe out of guilt, maybe because she reminds me of a cow, I don't know, marriage sucks.)
  12. You Can't Do That (Stalking, Version 1: I've seen you "talking" to that other boy and if you don't knock it off, I'll leave you "flat."  Maybe even knock you flat.  Don't you realize that other folks might laugh at me if you don't remain my doormat?  I'll be watching--I got eyes everywhere.)
  13. I'll Be Back (Stalking, Version 2: We broke up, but you didn't get the picture.  So I'm back.  Don't you understand that I love you?  Big surprise?  So you can't stand my smothering, overbearing presence?  Well, guess what?  I'll be back--again.  Ever see that movie There's Something About Mary.  Well, baby, I'm living it!)