15 things a guy can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is shopping.....


1.  Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts
when they aren't looking.

2.  Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3.  Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest-rooms.

4.  Walk up to an employee and tell them in an official tone:  "Code 3
in Housewares!" and see what happens.

5.  Go to the Customer Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

6.  Move a 'CAUTION-WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.  Set up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you're
sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

8.  When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9.  Look right in the security camera, use it as a mirror and scratch yourself .

10. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack...and when people browse through, say:  "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! It's those voices again!"

                                      and last but not least:

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while.....then yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

16.  Take a small pink bike for a spin in aisle 11.  Say its a "test drive"

17. Watch with alot of interest as the clerk scans your items, and repeat "oooohhhh magic"

18. challenge said clerk to a duel in aisle 7 with radar beepers.  Use your dueling glove to challenge.

LOL, both of yez!

Set off all the Tickle Me Elmo dolls at once. (I did that once)


Make various noises into the intercom.

Prance down the aisles in green tights and a leotard, sprinking glitter that you stole from the craft section while saying "All you need is a little pixie dust and a happy thought to take you to Never-never-land!"

Sneak around the womens underwear section with one of those toy cowboy rifles and a pair of underwear on your head.

Quoted from strutter84, posted September 2, 2004, 6:44am at here

Sneak around the womens underwear section with one of those toy cowboy rifles and a pair of underwear on your head.

Speaking of the womens underwear section...I worked at Kmart when I was eighteen and one day a man was masterbating into the nightgowns in Ladies Wear.

I WAS NOT!  I was just drinking a juice box and accidentally squeezed at the wrong time.  Jeez.

lol, that's pretty gross.  Are you the one that caught him?  What did they do to him?

What about the judge who was caught choking the chicken during a trial.  Can you account for your whereabouts Chuck?

Quoted from misterchaz, posted September 2, 2004, 8:33pm at here

I WAS NOT!  I was just drinking a juice box and accidentally squeezed at the wrong time.  Jeez.

That was some pretty strange juice you were drinking!   

Quoted from AbbeyRoad, posted September 2, 2004, 11:01pm at here

lol, that's pretty gross.  Are you the one that caught him?  What did they do to him?

Thankfully, I didn't see him.  Another cashier told me. I guess he was seen by someone working in Ladies Wear and they called security. Then he left so security didn't catch him.

Guys and their fetishes. I don't know.