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emmi_luvs_beatles

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My Beatles Fan Fiction
« on: October 17, 2009, 03:12:47 AM »

Ok, I was asked to post my Beatles fan fiction on here. So here it is! Any constructive critisism or your thoughts are totally welcome! I am exited to see what everyone thinks!  :)

One Day, in the year of 1964, the four Beatles John, Paul George and Ringo were in a hotel room getting ready for a show. Little did they know what was about to unfold.
   “Aye Paul!” John called from the living room. Paul was in the bathroom shaving.
   “Yes, John?” Paul yelled back.
   “I can’t find my left boot!” He said, walking into the bathroom.
   Paul wiped the excess shaving cream off his jaw line. “Did you ask George?”
   “No, I guess I could ask him.” Then he walked into the kitchen where George was stirring a cup of tea.
   “Georgie, have you seen my left boot?” John asked him.
   George shook his head, bobbing the tea bag up and down in the steaming water, “Nope, sorry mate. Have you asked Ringo?”
   John rolled his eyes as he walked toward the living room where Ringo was watching Television   “Ringo! Have you-”
   Ringo cut him off, “No John, I have not seen your left boot.” He smiled
   John laughed, “Alright.” he sat down in the chair, “Then if none of you have seen it, where could it be?”
   “JOHN!” Brian Epstein shouted as he opened the door to The Beatles suite, “You left your boot in the car! I wouldn’t want you to go on stage in your loafers!” He handed John the lone shoe.
   “Thanks Brian! You’re a real life saver.” John said.
   Brian laughed, “S’okay, it happens to all of us.”
   George came in with his tea, “Yeah, but only John would forget a shoe!” He and Ringo laughed.      
             “Aye, watch it Harrison!” John teased.
   Then Paul stepped out from the bathroom, “Everyone almost ready to go?” he questioned.
   “We sure are Paul!” John said, “Where are we going fellas?” he asked the three.
   “To the toppermost of the poppermost Johnny!” They answered back.
   John laughed, “Alright! Let’s go!”

***************************************************************************************

   “You have no idea where you’re going, do you driver?” Paul convicted the driver, who was obviously lost.
   “No no, I swear I do! Let’s see, if we turn right… Here!” Then the five men heard a high pitched hissing sound.
   “What’s that?”
   “What happened?”
   “Is the car okay?” The four asked the driver.
   “We popped a tire! Oh no!” The driver exclaimed as he stepped out of the car.
   “Oh bloody hell.” George huffed.
   “What are we going to do?” Ringo asked.
   “I don’t know.” John said, “But let’s go look and see what we’re up against”
   When they got out, they saw how bad the situation was.
   “Jesus Christ! We’re out in the middle of nowhere, it’s dark, and we don’t have a spare tire! How are we ever going to make it to Wembley Stadium?!” Paul exclaimed, plopping down on the blacktop next to the car.
   Then a big semi truck pulled up next to the five, “Steven, is that you?” He asked the driver.
   “Will! It’s you! Boys, this is my cousin Will.” Will waved to the four, “Hey, can you give us all a lift to Wembley stadium?”
   “Sorry mate,” Will said, “But I only have room for one.”
   The driver, or Steven apparently, hopped into the silver semi. “Don’t worry boys! I’ll send someone to get you!” the driver called out the window as they drove off.
   “Well, isn’t this just perfect!?” George complained, sitting on the hood of the car.
   “Who else doesn’t think he’s coming back?” John asked. The other 3 raised their hands, “That’s what I thought.” He said.
   “Well, maybe someone will stop and give us a spare?” Ringo offered.
   “We don’t know how to get there!” Paul huffed.
   “And even if we did,” John said, shutting the driver side door on the car, “He took the keys.” They groaned
   “Aye fellas! Look!” Paul shouted as he got up and ran out into the street, spotting an oncoming car, “Stop! Stop!” He shouted, but the car just whipped right past him.
   “I can’t believe he didn’t stop for a Beatle!” Ringo sighed.
   “Well, we’re officially late for the show.” John declared, glancing out at his watch.
   “It’s already eight?” George asked
   John nodded, “Eight thirty.”
   The boys groaned even louder this time, “How are we going to explain this to Brian?” Paul shouted.
   “Now Paulie, your making a big deal out of nothing! Brian will only kill us! That’s all.” John teased.
   “Ha-ha John” Paul said. Then a car started to slow down next to them.
   “Hey! They’re stopping!” Ringo shouted.
   “Oh my lord! It’s The Beatles!” A young girl shouted as she jumped out of the backseat of the car.
   Then her father got out of the drivers side, “Holy cow, it is.” he said, “Why are you young lads out here?”
   “We were headed to our show when a tire on the car popped,” Paul explained,
   “And our driver left so now we’re stuck here,” Ringo finished. The young girl was standing next to him, gazing up at him with big eyes.
   “Dad dad! We can give them a ride, right?” she pleaded.
   “I would honey, but they might not all fit.” he explained.
   “Oh sir, believe me we’ll fit! I’ll sit in John’s lap if I have to!” George said, “And I’m sure Ringo won’t mind letting your daughter sit in his!”
   Ringo shot him a look, and then the girl giggled.
   “Alright, I guess.” said the man, “Climb in.”
   The four boys and the girl all squished into the small car.
   “Judy,” The man said to his wife in the passenger’s seat, who was reading a book, “Um, The Beatles are in a car.”
   Judy whipped around, then screamed, “It’s Paul! And George! And John! And my daughter is in Ringo Starr’s lap!” She breathed.
   Ringo turned red, “You’re cute!” the girl giggled.
   “Uh, thanks.” Ringo said.
   “Yah Ringo! You’re really cute!” Paul batted his eyelashes at him. The four laughed, and then the girl pulled out a picture of the four.
   “Will you sign this for me Ringo?” She politely asked, handing him the picture and a blue pen.
   “Of course.” He signed it then handed it over to Paul. “Here Paul! Sign it for the girl!”
   Paul raised his eyebrows then quickly signed the picture. “Here John! Put your John Henry right there!”
   John signed it then handed it over to George. When George was done he gave it to the girl. “There you go!” He cheerily said.
   She screamed, “What are all my friends going to say?!”
   Ringo laughed, “So how far off are we sir?”
   “Oh not too far.” He said, “We’re only here!”
   The boys jumped out of the car, “Thank you so much sir! We’ll see you in the audience!” Paul said.
   The boys rushed in to see Brian waiting for them. “Boys! Where in God’s name we’re you!? Your 45 minutes late!” he shrieked. Then the breathless Beatles told him their story. “My lord! Are you alright? We’re never hiring that driver again!”
   “Yeah we’re fine. But there’s no time for chatter! We need to get on stage!” John declared. The boys ran over to the stage entrance where their instruments were waiting for them. They bolted through the door, barely getting their straps on.
   The crowd was booming and clearly upset. Then they saw The Beatles and started cheering. The girls were crying and screaming and shouting,
   “Paul!”
   “John!”
   “George!”
   “Ringo!”
   When everyone was set up, Paul looked over to John, “Ready?” he mouthed.
   John nodded, “Well, Shake it up baby now!!” He belted Twist and Shout into the microphone. And they show finally began.

I have longer ones, but this one was easiest to type XD If you want I can post some more soon  :)
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breedofrandy

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2009, 07:30:03 AM »

This is really great Emmi! I loved it!  :D

It was really well written and the story line was great! I could really invision them being there! Really good!

Yah I would love to read more of these, they're Fab!  ;)
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Pilzkopf

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2009, 09:57:36 PM »

That was good, Emmi. I enjoyed it. There aren't many 13-year-olds who can write like that. :)

Only one small criticism. No concerts were held in Wembley Stadium in 1964. I believe the Shea Stadium concert was the first time any stadium was used as a rock venue at all. But they could have played the Colliseum or the Palladium.
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2009, 10:49:45 PM »

^^ Thank you so much guys! And thank you for telling be Pilzkoph! Yah the only reason I came up with that was asking my dad somewhere they could be going to, and thats what he said :P so I will change that! :-) 
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nyfan(41)

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2009, 01:06:25 AM »

really good dialogue ! !  ;yes (keep writing)
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Andy Smith

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2009, 10:50:55 PM »

ahhh, i was actually the first to read it  ;D, wonderful stuff Emmi, nice to finally be
in contact with a fellow writer!  :)
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2009, 11:46:13 PM »

^^ Thank you! And yes, Andy gets dibs on first read XD
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georgeharrisonluver

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2009, 12:58:18 AM »

really great story emmi! The dialog was really good, it was funny and you could really feel each one's personality in the story
I'd really enjoy more stories!  :)
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Octie

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2009, 07:26:16 AM »

Emmi, that's really lovely! :)
(I'd quote my favourite bit but it's probably very guessable anyway :-[ ;) )
Such a fun story, and I agree with nyfan and GHL - awesome dialogue 8) Thanks for sharing!
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Kaleidoscope_Eyes

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2009, 09:33:16 PM »

I wouldn’t want you to go on stage in your loafers
What are loafers?

  “Aye, watch it Harrison!” John teased.
I can so hear John saying this!

“Where are we going fellas?” he asked the three.
   “To the toppermost of the poppermost Johnny!” They answered back.

Classic!

“Sorry mate,” Will said, “But I only have room for one.”
They should have said "that's alright we've once lay like sardines in the back seat passing whiskey around"

“I can’t believe he didn’t stop for a Beatle!” Ringo sighed.
Ya man! Gosh, some people!

“Now Paulie, your making a big deal out of nothing! Brian will only kill us! That’s all.” John teased.
   “Ha-ha John”

Excellent!!!

The boys jumped out of the car, “Thank you so much sir! We’ll see you in the audience!” Paul said.
They should have given them free tickets, hehe! Kidding!

John nodded, “Well, Shake it up baby now!!” He belted Twist and Shout into the microphone. And they show finally began.
Excellent ending!

That was such a pleasure to read!!!! May I invite you to post it on my forum as well [www.betterthantv.proboards67.com]

Keep writing Emmi, you're good!!!
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2009, 09:42:21 PM »

^^ Thank you! And I will post it on your forum if you'd like K_E! 1) Loafers are slipper type things 2) I thought about putting in the fact that they laid on top of eachother passing booze around but I really wanted to put the little girl in there XD
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Eliza

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2009, 10:55:31 PM »

Emmi thats lovely it's really good and I thought I was the only one who wrote beatle fanfic, I guess I was wrong but anyway it's wonderful I'd love to read more = )
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2009, 12:20:21 AM »

^ Thank you Eliza! And if you write you can post yours here as well!  :)

Ok, this one is veeeryy silly and random, but I think it's kinda cute  ha2ha

One October day, the four Beatles were getting there posh flat ready for a huge Halloween party John wanted to hold. “It’s gonna be great!” John exclaimed
   “Yeah I believe you, John.” Paul said, “But why do I have to be your ‘Lovely assistant Paulina?’” He looked down at his hot pink sparkly dress and high heels.
   “Be-cause!” he said, “You lost the bet! You bet that you could win the ping-ball game, and whoever won got to dress everyone up!” He snickered, “And I won!”
   “But I thought that I would win!” He huffed, “But I guess I’d rather have this than Ringo’s costume.”  He glanced over to Ringo in his big Lion suit.
   “Aye, I’m a damn fierce Lion!” Ringo joked.
   John hung some fake cobwebs on the ceiling, “Guys! Stop messin’ about! Help me put these decorations up!” Ringo and Paul went to help hang the ridiculous decorations John had picked up.
   Just then, George came into the room in his costume. The other boys looked at him, and then started laughing hysterically. John gave George a costume of Princess Lea from Star Wars. “Cut it out guys!” He walked over to them, and then he scanned Paul up and down. “Nice legs Paulina.” Paul immediately stopped laughing and fell silent.
   “Oh really?” Paul said, “You could have ‘em anyways!” He laughed.
   “Alright George, now go into the kitchen and make some chocolate chip cookies in the oven!” John said, “And use the imported chocolate!”
   George huffed and walked into the kitchen. Then Ringo started to look worried.
   “What’s up Ringo?” Paul asked.
   “Well, um, I, ate the imported chocolate….” he stammered.
   “YOU WHAT!?!!?!?!?!” John screamed, “That was specially ordered from Germany! How could you do that Ringo?!”
   Ringo frowned, “I’m sorry John! I didn’t know it was so special….”
   John climbed down the ladder and started pacing, “What am I going to do? I promised everyone I’d have that chocolate!” he stopped, “I just can’t do it! We need to find some of that chocolate NOW!” He looked over to the others, “We are going to search all of Britan if that’s what it takes! Come on!”
   Paul stopped, “I’m not going out in this! I can’t even walk 3 steps in these bloody 4-inch heels!”
   John sighed, “Alright guys, go change.” George and Ringo walked, and Paul hobbled, to change.
********************************************************
   When they got to the car, George got into the drivers side and started their car up. “Go to the nearest specialty store you know of!” John barked.
   “Okay okay” George said, “Calm down John, it’s just chocolate!”
   John gasped, “It isn’t just CHOCOLATE! It’s my specially ordered German chocolate! I can’t believe you!”
   Ringo and Paul were in the backseat laughing their heads off at John. “I can’t believe he wanted that chocolate so bad.” Paul whispered.
   John must have heard him, because he whipped around and shot them a dirty look. They sunk back in their seats.
   “Here we are John. Your amazing chocolate awaits.” George said in a sarcastic tone.
   But John didn’t hear his snark comment, he jumped out of the car like it was on fire. Then the others quickly followed.
   He whipped the door open and ran to the clerk. John almost jumped on the man’s counter, “I.. Need… German.. Dark chocolate.” John breathlessly said.
   The clerk drew back from the heaving John, “Sorry mate, I ran out last night.”
   John cursed under his breath, “Thanks anyway mate.” John turned around to see the other three tinkering with the imported children’s toys. “Guys! Come ON!” he snapped, causing George to almost fall off his pogo stick, and Paul to hit himself in the head with a paddle ball toy.
   The four walked out of the shop, “But I really wanted that action figure…” Ringo started to turn around.
   “Come on!” The others said in unison.
   “Okay..”
   The boys tried shop after shop, so many they lost count. They tried many imported goods shops, a German goods store, a novelty shop, and countless numbers of candy stores. And they met every different type of clerk you could imagine. They even got chased by screaming girls out of a few shops. They were almost ready to give up.
   “John! Come on, why can’t you just make them with regular chocolate? People will be coming to our house in…” Paul checked his watch, “An hour!”
   “Paul,” John pleaded, “One more shop! Please? I told these people I’d have this chocolate! One more shop?”
   Paul huffed, “Alright ONE more.”
   George pulled into a candy store, “If it isn’t here, your fresh outta luck John.”
   The tired Beatles got out of the car and slugged into the store. When they got in, they walked up to the counter where a plump woman was sitting there reading a gossip magazine with The Beatles on the cover.
   “Oh great.” Ringo muttered.
   “Um excuse me Miss?” John said “We need some-”
   “OH MY GOSH!” She said, “It’s-It’s-It’s you!” she giggled.
   “Yes, it’s us.” Paul smirked, “We’re looking for some imported German chocolate.”
   She thought for a minute, “Well, we usually don’t give these to people, but since it’s,” she looked over to John, “JOHN Lennon! I will give them to you.” she reached under her counter and handed John the chocolate.
   “YES!” he said, “This is exactly what I ordered guys! Thank you so much miss!” he handed her the money.
   She laughed, “No problem, and call me Anna.”
   He smiled, “Alright Anna. Thanks again!”
**********************************************
   When they got back to their flat, they noticed they had only a half hour until people would start showing up for their big rendezvous!  “Alright,” John announced, “Paul, you get hanging the cobwebs!” Paul saluted and ran off. “Ringo, you get making sure the DJ’s set!” Ringo nodded and ran off to help the man. “And George,” John smirked, “Make those damn cookies!”
   George laughed, “Sir Yes sir!”
   The boys worked straight through that last half hour, making sure everything was set. Then they all went to put their costumes on.
   So George was Princess Lea, Ringo was a Lion, and John was Houdini with Paul as his lovely assistant.  Soon people started filing into their flat, the party was going great! They had The Beach Boys new hit single Surfin’ USA playing.
   “Hey John!” Neil Aspinall came up to him, “These cookies are great! Where did you get this amazing chocolate?”
   John laughed, “Well Neil, it’s a long story….”

            THE END


Yes, another really short one! lol. Please tell me what you think!
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breedofrandy

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2009, 02:46:47 AM »

Another really great one Emmi!
It's so very cute. I love the conversations they have, sounds just like them!  ;D
George's sarcastic humor, is spot on!
And Ringo ate the chocolates? so funny! I could see him doing that on accident!  ha2ha

The only thing that confused me was the princess lea costume? I thought star wars was later then this time.
But other than that, it was great Emmi!!  ;D

Can't wait to read more!  ;)
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Octie

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2009, 03:31:36 AM »

Yay, another Emmi-story! 8) I liked it!
Much Ado about Chocolate.... ;D I'm thinking, if it was milk chocolate, I'd probably be as determined as John :D
Hahaha, "the lovely assistant Paulina".... very cute ha2ha

Can't wait to read more!  ;)

Same!
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2009, 12:26:08 PM »

Thank you guys! I'm glad it's worth the time I put into it  ha2ha


The only thing that confused me was the princess lea costume? I thought star wars was later then this time.


Yeeah I didn't know that till my dad told me and I had already posted it  ha2ha
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Pilzkopf

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2009, 01:11:58 PM »

Good again, Emmi  :)

If you're going to be writing more, maybe it's time to ask the mods for a separate sub-forum, called Beatle Stories or something?
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #17 on: October 21, 2009, 08:59:43 PM »

Good again, Emmi  :)

If you're going to be writing more, maybe it's time to ask the mods for a separate sub-forum, called Beatle Stories or something?

Uhm I'm not sure how all of that forum stuff works, but if they think it's nessesary it's fine with me  :)
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nyfan(41)

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #18 on: October 21, 2009, 09:10:36 PM »

Uhm I'm not sure how all of that forum stuff works, but if they think it's nessesary it's fine with me  :)

yes emmi, you're gonna get your own room . . . . a thousand dollars a day to start . . . . and all the pens and pencils you need !  ha2ha

(i thought the star wars reference was on purpose like a kind of time travel thing)

hey . . . imagine if paul ended up reading one of your stories ?? ;yes
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emmi_luvs_beatles

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Re: My Beatles Fan Fiction
« Reply #19 on: October 21, 2009, 09:26:22 PM »

yes emmi, you're gonna get your own room . . . . a thousand dollars a day to start . . . . and all the pens and pencils you need !  ha2ha

(i thought the star wars reference was on purpose like a kind of time travel thing)

hey . . . imagine if paul ended up reading one of your stories ?? ;yes

Awesomeness!!! And that be really cool if he did!  ha2ha And the star wars thing was a mistake actually.. anyone have an idea for something our Georgie could wear?
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