You are not alone, Dmitry. This is what a Russian friend of a friend posted on Facebook.
How does it feel to be a Russian in Russia at the moment?
In short, it is shock and depression. New shock waves come before you have time to cope with the previous ones. First, it was the shock of finding out that Russia attacked Ukraine, the humiliation, the anger at how one person can sh*t all over everything??? Then the horror of the pictures and videos of explosions and destruction. Then the sanctions: cancelled payment systems, flights, oil&gas projects (I realized right away that I will be out of job in a few months, which was confirmed a few weeks later). Then ruble crashed and our family savings with it. Car, apartment and electronics prices skyrocketed. Immigration craze started. Next came the shock of the military casualties on both sides, daily pain of new deaths. The next came the realization how many Russians were taken in by the state propaganda and if not supported the "military operation", at least tried to rationalize it. My close friends do see this war for what it is. But there are many of my my compatriots with whom I've been fighting Telegram wars, some are in denial, some are beginning to realize how everything is going to sh*t. The next shock was the humanitarian catastrophe in the Russian occupied or surrounded cities. The rest is not shocking any more, the nervous system becomes numb, it cannot handle so much stress, and just shuts off. Propaganda, censorship and crack down on dissent is not shocking any more, just debilitating. Now, pharmacies are closing, medicines are disappearing from the stores. Some foods are not available any more, some food prices increased 30-100%, but others have stayed the same. Taxi and car sharing prices grew 30%. Printing paper is out of stock, prices increased 6 fold. Contactless Google Pay doesn't not work in stores any more. I am going to be out of job by May the latest, I don't know how we are going to pay rent.
I am hoping for the war to stop within the next couple months. I don't blame any foreign companies for not wanting to have anything to do with Russia, but I am still grateful to those that stayed - at least perhaps my brother is not going to be out job. I am focusing on finding new job opportunities, keeping kids happy. It is hard to stay positive. We are not the ones being bombed, can't complain.
