I've met with a friend and I presented him with my work. And what my 'work' may be?
Well, I've done some translations of my favourite songs to my native language (which is Slavic). Translating is not my profession, but it could be my hobby or passion, let's say.
So, I have printed out the original lyrics of 'TNN' on one paper - and my translation on the second.
He read it both and first thing he said: 'LSD inspired, isn't it?' (My buddy is not a hard-core Beatle fan, but he is open minded if it comes to rock music.)
So, he got the first thing right.
Then, he compared John's lyrics and my work. And the thing is, when I was doing the translation, I understood the verses separately.
Like this, the first verse stands for itself:
Turn off your mind, relax and float down stream
It is not dying, it is not dying
The second is for itself, separated from the first:
Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void
It is shining, it is shining
Yet you may see the meaning of within...
etc.
But, when my pal looked at my verses and compared it to the original, he said:
'You know, I think the verses are CONNECTED, there is a FLOW: first, you
turn off your mind, then, after the mind is turned of, you
lay your thoughts, then it follows to -
that you may see the meaning within and so on...
And I thought about it and I think he's right. I didn't think about the lyrics in that way. So, now, I'll have to fix the lyrics I wrote to get the same 'flow' as in the original.
So, what have I concluded from this little episode?
Well, first, you have to be open to different interpretations of lyrics than your own.
Second, someone who is not so much into the Beatles (a 'hardcore' fan) can help you and give you objective and pragmatic suggestions.
And now I have a work to do.