What I've found, harihead:
http://www.stevehoffman.tv/forums/archive/index.php/t-65565-p-3.htmlHere's the transcript of Lorne Michaels' original on air offer to the Beatles
to get back together on the show.
April 24, 1976
BEATLES OFFER
(OPEN ON: LORNE AT DESK. THERE IS ONLY ONE CAMERA USED THROUGHOUT)
LORNE:
Hi. I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of "Saturday Night." Right now, we're being seen by
approximately twenty-two million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself
to just four very special people -- John, Paul, George and Ringo -- the Beatles. Lately,
there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back
together. That would be great. In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened
to music. It goes even deeper than that. You're not just a musical group, you're a part of us.
We grew up with you. It's for this reason that I'm inviting you to come on our show.
Now, we've heard and read a lot about personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you
guys from reuniting. That's something which is none of my business. That's a personal problem.
You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one as yet has come up with
enough money to satisfy you. Well, If it's money you want, there's no problem here. The National
Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you this check to be on our show.
(HOLDS UP CHECK) A certified check for $3,000. Here it is, right here. Dave -- can we get a
close-up on this? Which camera? Oh, this one. (CAMERA MOVES IN TO SHOW CHECK) Here it is, a
check made out to you, the Beatles, for $3,000. All you have to do is sing three Beatle songs.
(SINGS)
_She loves you_
_Yeah, yeah, yeah ..._
That's $1,000 right there. You know the words. It'll be easy. Like I said, this is made out to
the Beatles -- you divide it up any way you want. If you want to give Ringo less, it's up to you.
I'd rather not get involved. I'm sincere about this. If it helps you to reach a decision to
reunite, it's well worth the investment. You have agents. You know where _I_ can be reached.
Just think about it, okay? (HOLDS UP CHECK AGAIN)
Thank you.
************************************
Lorne Micheals made a second offer to the Fabs:
This was aired on May 22, 1976. The host was Buck Henry, and Musical guest was Gordon Lightfoot.
************************************
LORNE: Hi, I'm Lorne Micheals, producer of Saturday Night. A short while ago I went on the air
and addressed myself to John, Paul, George, and Ringo--the Beatles. At that time I invited them
to come on our show, and told them that I was authorized by NBC to pay them in the sum of three
thousand dollars for just three songs. Well, about a month has gone by. We've heard from the
Monkees, Freddy and the Dreamers, Peter and Gordon, Herman's Hermits, the Cowsills, and Lulu;
but still no word from the Beatles. I'm not discouraged and neither is NBC. Because of the
ecent acclaim we've received, I have the weight to go to the network and convince them that it is
worth it for them to sweeten the pot. John, Paul, George, and Ringo--NBC is now prepared to up
the original offer from three thousand, to three thousand, two hundred. Can we get a close-up
of the check? Which camera is it? As you can see, it's a check made out to you, The Beatles.
Off the record, this increase comes to an extra fifty dollars for each of you. That's if you
split it equally--I'm still not sure what your situation with Ringo is. Also, NBC has decided
that they will take care of your hotel accommodations. Don Pardo, tell the Beatles what they
can expect when they come to get that check for three thousand, two hundred dollars.
DON PARDO: It'll be my pleasure, Lorne. First of all, the lads from Liverpool will be picked up
by a radio-dispatched Checker cab that will whisk them to the Cross Town Motor Inn, located in
the heart of New York's fashionable garment district. Once there, they will check in in the
recently renovated lobby; and then it's off to their rooms via round-the-clock elevator service.
They'll be treated like royalty as pitchers of ice water are hand-delivered to their rooms,
and they can drink that water from glasses sanitized for their convenience. Oops--Ringo spilled
a little something on his jacket? No problem--not with prompt forty-eight-hour dry cleaning
service! "In by Tuesday, out by Thursday." And let's just put a shine on those shoes, too,
with a free shoe shine cloth. And, Lorne, since the Beatles will be staying in separate rooms,
the four Mop Tops can speak to each other as much as they want because there is no charge for
room-to-room calls. And, after a hard day's night, the Beatles can sleep as late as they like
with a leisurely checkout time of 10 A.M. That's the Cross Town Motor Inn, a hotel tradition,
hosting New York's visitors since 1971. Yeah, yeah, yeah! Back to you Lorne!
LORNE: Thank you, Don Pardo. John, Paul, George, and Ringo, that's where we stand right now.
Thirty-two hundred dollars, and free hotel accommodations. Now, it's your move. I've always
respected you, and you were always my favorite group, and I always liked Yoko, even at the
beginning when everyone was having problems with her. I would like to see you do our show,
and so would the American people. You know where i can be reached. I'm waiting to hear from you.
********************************************
http://wingspan.ru/bookseng/diary2/b09_1976.htmlKeith Badman
THE BEATLES DIARY VOLUME 2: AFTER THE BREAK-UP 1970-2001
Tuesday April 20
Still in America, George, wearing the uniform of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, appears
unannounced with his friends the Monty Python comedy team at New York's City Center, at West
55th Street, during their performance of 'The Lumberjack Song'. He had, in fact, been watching
the first half of the show from the audience and went backstage at the interval. The Python team,
starting a three-week run at the venue, invited him to join the cast during the song. "George is
a lumberjack freak. He used that song on his tour to introduce the show," says Nancy Lewis,
Monty Python's American manager. (Incidentally, the former Beatle is such a fan of the song that,
when George and Olivia go on holiday during the late Seventies and early Eighties, he will use
the name "Jack Lumber" as an alias.)
Saturday April 24
The album Wings At The Speed Of Sound reaches number one in the American charts. Paul, happy
with the news, makes an evening visit to John and Yoko's Dakota apartment. By chance, John,
eager to watch appearances by Raquel Welch and John Sebastian, the former front man for
The Lovin' Spoonful, is watching the NBC TV comedy show Saturday Night Live (transmitted on
Channel 4, WNBC between 11:30pm and 1:00am ET), and which also just happens to feature the famous
Lorne Michaels' "Beatles Reunion" offer. With both John and Paul watching, Lorne Michaels
delivers his legendary speech, unbeknownst to him that two of the ex-Beatles are actually
tuned in:
"Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of Saturday Night. Right now, we're being seen by
approximately 22 million viewers, but please allow me, if I may, to address myself to four
very special people ... John, Paul, George and Ringo ... The Beatles. Lately, there have been
a lot of rumours to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together, that would
be great. In my book, The Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. It goes deeper
than that, you're not just a musical group, you're a part of us, we grew up with you. It's for
this reason that I'm inviting you to come on our show. Now, we've heard and read a lot about
personality and legal conflicts that might prevent you guys from re-uniting, that's none of my
business. You guys will have to handle that. But it's also been said that no one has yet come up
with enough money to satisfy you. Well, if it's money you want, there's no problem here. The
National Broadcasting Company authorises me to authorise you a cheque for $3,000. Here can you
get a close-up of this?" (Michaels holds a cheque, made payable to The Beatles', close up to the
camera.) "As you can see, verifiably, a cheque made out to you ... The Beatles for $3,000. All
you have to do is sing three Beatle tunes. 'She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah', that's $1,000 right
there. You know the words, and it'll be easy. Like I said, this cheque is made out to The Beatles
You divide it anyway you want, if you want to give Ringo less that's up to you. I'd rather not
get involved. I'm sincere about this. If it helps you to reach a decision to reunite well, it's
a worthwhile investment. You have agents, you know where I can be reached. Just think about it,
OK? Thank you."
John recalls the evening: "Paul was visiting us at our place in the Dakota with Linda. He and I
were watching it and we went ha-ha, wouldn't it be funny if we went down and we almost went down
to the studio, just as a gag. We nearly got into the cab, but we were actually too tired."
Paul and Linda leave the Dakota apartment as John and Yoko begin watching the 1960
science-fiction film The Time Machine starring Rod Taylor.
Sunday April 25
Pleased by how well the two of them got on together last night, Paul returns to John's Dakota
apartment this evening. Unfortunately, the welcome is not so warming, as John recalls in the
September 1980 Playboy interviews: "That was a period when Paul just kept turning up at our door
with a guitar. I would let him in, but finally I said to him, 'Please call before you come over.
It's not 1956, and turning up at the door isn't the same anymore. You know, just give me a ring.'
That upset him, but I didn't mean it badly. I just meant that I was taking care of a baby all day
and some guy turns up at the door with a guitar." Paul departs, unaware that he will never see
John again. Paul immediately heads for Dallas, Texas and some Wings rehearsals.
Saturday May 22
With no Beatles reunion forthcoming, Lorne Michaels puts out another appeal on tonight's edition
of Saturday Night Live (transmitted on Channel 4, WNBC between 11:30pm and 1:00am ET). This time,
he ups the offer to $3,200 and cheekily agrees to throw in some "hotel accommodation".
Saturday October 2
On the American NBC TV show Saturday Night Live, host Lorne Michaels revisits the sketch
involving an appeal for The Beatles to get back together ...
"Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels. Several months ago I made a bona-fide offer of $3,000 to The Beatles
to perform on Saturday Night. For months there was no response and then about two weeks ago,
I got a long distance phone call from Eric Idle, tonight's host, in London saying that if I would
let him come over and host the show, he would bring The Beatles with him. Well, in my excitement,
I agreed and foolishly sent him the cheque for $3,000. You see, he said The Beatles wanted the
money in advance so that they could buy some new clothes to wear on the show. Well, when I met
Eric at the airport last Monday, I noticed that he was alone. So I said, 'Where are they, I mean
The Beatles.' He said, 'Well, their new clothes weren't ready yet, so they were going to catch a
later flight.' I still didn't think anything was wrong, until yesterday, when a telegram arrived
saying, 'Can't come now. Ringo's pants too long ... Stop ... Please send more money for
alterations ... Stop ... Signed The Beatles.' When I showed the telegram to Eric, he said
he would call London immediately and did, and convinced John, Paul, George and Ringo to send over
a film instead. Well, 20 minutes ago, the film arrived from England. I just saw it and it's ...
quite good, only it's not The Beatles, it's The Rutles. Evidently, Eric had a bad phone
connection to London and, well, anyway... it's halfway through the show and Eric's already spent
the $3,000, so ladies and gentlemen, here are The Rutles ...
"The fabulous Rutland sound, created by the fab-four, Dirk, Stig, Nasty and Barry...
who created a musical legend that will last a lunchtime."
With that, The Rutles are launched in America. The success of this early film sequence leads to
the full-blown Rutles TV special entitled All You Need Is Cash, which will premiere m America on
March 22 and in the UK on BBC2 on March 27,1978. (The 75-minute film continues to be shown around
the world, with one of its most recent screenings occurring on the Paramount Comedy Channel as
part of a Monty Python Weekend on Sunday October 25,1998, and then, more recently on the station
on Friday February 5,1999.) 6 In the UK, Melody Maker publishes an exclusive interview with Ringo
carried out with Ray Coleman in Paris at the George V Hotel.
Ringo takes a swipe at EMI over their policy of repackaging vintage Beatles recordings without
consulting any former members of the group. In particular, he is angry over the cover design for
the compilation album Rock 'N' Roll Music. "I'd like some power over whoever is at EMI who's
putting out these lousy Beatles compilations. They can do what they like with all our old stuff,
we know that. It's theirs. But Christ man, I was there. I played on those records and you know
how much trouble we used to go to just getting the running order right, so those tempos of songs
are nicely planned and everything? And the album covers! John rang them up and asked them if he
could draw them one ... John told me he was told to 'p*ss off'. All of us looked at the cover
and could hardly bear to see it. It was terrible! So listen EMI, if you're reading this - please
let us know what you're doing with the records we made. We'd like it done, how do I say, nicely!"
(Note: When told of Ringo's reaction, EMI gave this reply: "It is a little bit difficult to
comment directly on this as (the Rock 'N' Roll Music album) was generated from Capitol in America
But every step was taken to involve all The Beatles in the project. We gather that at the crucial
time, when the design for the cover had to be in hand, the Capitol people were unable to contact
John for a final meeting. We are very concerned that in repackaging and re-promoting, we maintain
the artistic integrity of the catalogue and the more involvement that we can have with any of
The Beatles we would welcome.")
Ringo is also asked why he lives in Monte Carlo? "It's the tax thing. If you want to keep any of
your bread, it seems that you've got to stay out of England ... I'd rather live in England, but,
well, I want some bread."
The reason for the magnifying glass with each copy of his new album Ringo's Rotogravure? "So that
the album buyers would have no problem in reading the graffiti on the back." (This depicts a
picture of the front door at Apple's now derelict headquarters at 3 Saville Row in London, which
now carries inscriptions from Beatles fans, saying, amongst many things, that John should get his
green card.)
Ringo is asked: "But yet, how come you picture it and highlight it, with a magnifying glass on
the back of your album which purports to establish Ringo as a personage beyond Beatlemania?"
"Couldn't resist it," he replies. "Anyway, I knew that if I didn't put it on the cover of my
album, John'd have it on his and as he's not got a record coming out, I thought I'd get in fast."
Ringo is asked: "How did you feel about George's 'My Sweet Lord' episode?"
He replies: "George was very unlucky. There's no doubt that the tune is similar but how many
songs have been written with other melodies in mind? George's version is much heavier than
The Chiffons - he might have done it with the original in the back of his mind, but he's just
very unlucky that someone wanted to make it a test case in court. If I'd written 'He's So Fine',
I guess I'd have sued if I'd wanted some money."
Finally, Ringo is asked why he shaved his head bald recently?
"To see what it looked like and to make sure I didn't have boils or anything on my scalp."
Ringo's final words to Ray Coleman? "Hey, we haven't talked much about the new album..."
Later this evening, Paul is interviewed by Tony Prince for the 60-minute Radio Luxembourg
programme, suitably called A McCartney Special.
Friday November 19
In New York, in Studio 8-H at 30, Rockefeller Plaza in New York City, George and Paul Simon
record several songs for the NBC TV show Saturday Night live. The broadcast, which takes place
the following day, includes acoustic performances of 'Here Comes The Sun' and 'Homeward Bound',
as well as the promotional films for 'Crackerbox Palace' (directed by Eric Idle) and 'This Song'
(directed by George). Also rehearsed (and taped) by George and Paul are performances of
'Bye, Bye, Love', a brief snippet of 'Don't Let Me Wait Too Long', 'Yesterday',
'Bridge Over Troubled Water', 'Rock Island Line', a brief 'Flight Of The Valkyries'
and a reprise of 'Here Comes The Sun'. (Their performance of 'Homeward Bound' will appear
on the charity album Nobody's Child: Romanian Angel Appeal, which is released on July 24, 1990.)
At the start of tonight's Saturday Night Live show, which is neatly arranged to coincide with the
November 24 release of George's much delayed album Thirty Three And A Third, George is seen
asking Lorne Michaels if he can have the promised $3,000 Beatles reunion money. Michaels insists,
"If it was up to me, you could have the money. But NBC wouldn't agree." (Incidentally, the UK
release for the album Thirty Three And A Third takes place today.) Promotional adverts for the
album feature George's original birth certificate underneath the headline: "1943 Was A Great Year
For Music."
The Beatles album Magical Mystery Tour, originally released in America by Capitol Records in 1967
finally appears in the UK on Parlophone featuring the exact same track listing.
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Topic: SNL April 24, 1976-- Where were George and Ringo? (Read 3562 times)