This is just something I whipped up when I was bored, thought somebody might get some amusement out of it.
'Twas the night before Christmas and in the hotel
The Beatles were stirring up some kinda hell
Their jackets were tossed on the floor without care
For at that moment, they'd accepted a dare.
They had brought with them a big stash of pot
And Bob Dylan had dared them to smoke all they got
They were making such a terrible noise,
That Brian came up to check on the boys
He rushed up the staircase to get to the room
Nearly missing a janitor with his mop and broom
Panting out of breath as he reached the top
Brian wondered if the staircase would ever stop
When he finally made it to theplace of the lads
He knew something was happening- something quite bad
He didn't ask questions, just opened the door
And when he stepped inside, can you guess what he saw?
There stood a man who was dressed in a suit
A hat and belt buckle, complete with black boots
He knew that this man must be jolly St. Nick
But how on earth did he arrive here so quick?
The Beatles looked over at Brian and laughed
They thought the whole thing was quite the gas
They also seemed happy to be with this guy
For let's not forget that they were quite high.
Santa walked over to Brian and then
He pointed over to the Liverpool men
Leaned over and whispered into Brian's ear
"You must be surprised to see me over here!"
Brian nodded his head, though still quite distraught
He stared at the fat man and then had a thought:
"Santa's talking to me? I am so confused!
It must be those hallucinogens I used!"
Santa assured him that this was not true
He said, "I've come to see the Beatles and you
I've heard that you've only been marginally good
You haven't been doing all the things that you should."
"And all of this business with the stuff you call 'pot'
I'll tell you right now that it's got to stop
Paul, George and Ringo have got to behave
John must stop treating Cyn like a personal slave."
"And last but not least," he said with a smile
"You've got to let me hang around for a while
My neice loves the Beatles and rightfully so
Therefore, I need tickets for your upcoming show."
Ringo came over, his hair all a mess
And has for his manners, I'll give you one guess
He put his arm around the gift-giving guy
Stood up real tall, and looked him in the eye
He said, "We'll do all those things on just one condition,
We'll play pur new record and you have to listed
Just your opinion would make up for the coal
Here, I'll put it on, it's called Rubber Soul."
He turned on the Hi-Fi as the group gathered 'round
Waiting to hear all the new Beatles sounds
Santa watched as the recored began to play
He perked up his ears and said, "Ho ho hey!"
"This new album of yours is not all that bad
I'm sure all your fans will be very glad
I especially like the song called In My Life
It's a very nice tribute to John Lennon's wife."
The Beatles thanked him for telling them that
They thought Mr. Claus was one groovy cat
So they gave him tickets to their future show
Which were very had to get, doncha know.
At last it was time for Santa to part
Which made everybody sad in their hearts
But they accepted that he had to go
So they waved goodbye as he stepped into the snow
With his sleigh of so fancy and eight tiny reindeer
The Beatles knew there was nothing to fear
And Santa was heard as he flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, it's been a hard day's night!"
