JT, you seem to be a nice person, very agreeable and kind, but, unfortunately, you are under the influence, which is impossible to lift. You have imagined things to youself and have let them under your skin, and apparently have lived with them for quite a time. False as the assertions are, they are your life. So, stay with them, if it suits you, if it comforts you and gives you serenity and peace of mind. You have found your equilibrium, equanimity. And I wouldn`t like you to be left without it. Good luck!